Today's RANDOM Article, from the Maximumlies Archives

Saddam Freed After Trial Admits 'He is Vader’s Real Son'
politics - author: Pete
saddam hussein The ongoing Saddam Hussein trial in a highly secure compound in Iraq has continued to reveal startling facts about the once untouchable Iraqi dictator and reached an unexpected dramatic climax today.

The trial lapsed almost immediately into chaos as Saddam began the day’s proceedings by shouting, 'War crimes? Are you all crazy pigs? If anything this trial should be about SPACE crimes! Don't you know who I am?'

The judge politely asked Hussein to take his seat and wait for his opportunity to defend himself after the prosecution had completed it's initial days content.

Saddam, back in his seat, smiled widely as the prosecution took the floor;

'Saddam, you stand here today accused of some of the most terrible crimes the world has ever seen. Over the course of the last year you have repeatedly called for what, on the surface, can only be described as a bizarre set of witnesses, for example;

'You cited, your brother, Grand Mof Tarkin-Hussein as a character witness......Full story...

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BBC Announce Basil Brush to Anchor News
entertainment - author: Pete
basil brush bbc news 24 After much analysis of the content of BBC programming and deliberation of license fee value, the BBC has announced that from August 1st the legendary entertainer Basil Brush will anchor the prestigious 6 o'clock news bulletin.

'We've tried to pin down what the British Public want', BBC News Editor John Tealady-face has told Maximumlies, 'and we've found they want Basil Brush.'

Basil Brush begin a successful television career in the 1960's, appearing on the hugely popular 'Give a nobody a chance show' as a witty magician with a novelty side-kick 'Mr Derek' dressed as Jesus......Full story...
Amy Winehouse Launches Off-Licence Chain
music - author: Pete
amy winehouse It seems that in order to really monopolise on her recent chart success Amy Winehouse has launched her very own chain of off-licences.

'They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no I'd open a chain of off-licence premises to help me keep my head together', Winehouse has told Maximumlies.

Her first shop opens next week and is based in her home town of Ekup, North London. 'Winehouse Warehouse (wines, beers and strong spirits) Ltd' as the chain will be known will open with the usual Winehouse show-time flair.

She is expected to play a short live set at the shop then join the locals for what's billed as a 'good ole knees up' drinking specially designed vodka from her family's drinks cabinet.......Full story...
Easter Renamed ChocoTime in Bid to Fill Pews
politics - author: Pete
Jesus ChocoTime Today Church leaders have announced an 'historic change to the Christian Festival Easter', which it is alleged, 'will align the festival with the season’s modern view'

The church sees the changes as 'crucial to the future success of our religion, aiming to continue the huge market share we've had over the centuries well into this millennium'

The full details of the changes to the well known festival have yet to be formally documented but Maximumlies sources have obtained the details from a reliable religious bloke within the Church.......Full story...
New Harry Potter Film Goes Naked
entertainment - author: Pete
naked harry potterIn a bid to outdo Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe's recent revealing stage appearances, JK Rowling (Potters writer and creator) has announced that the next Potter film will run its entire length 'without any actor wearing any clothes, ever.'

'The lack of clothes fits perfectly into my plot, for what is the final episode in the series. I've also dropped the long winded title of the book and called the film simply 'Naked Harry Potter''

'As you may have heard, in this final instalment one of the main characters dies.......Full story...
Pimp My Wife
entertainment - author: Pete
Peter Stringfellow Music TV boundaries will be firmly pushed next month when music channel MTV launches a potentially controversial new series 'Pimp My Wife'.

The series is the brainchild of nightclub entrepreneur Peter Stringfellow who has part-bankrolled and presented the show.

'Essentially the series will follow a selection of lucky individuals who have been selected by their husbands to have the show's 'Pimp Magic' applied to them', Stringfellow has told Maximumlies.......Full story...

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Saddam Freed After Trial Admits 'He is Vader’s Real Son'
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