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Why does it always rain on my barbecue
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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There’s nothing more frustrating than deciding on a Monday, because the weather is nice, you will have a barbecue on the Saturday, so you get down to your local Tesco hypermarket and spend fifty quid on burgers and sausages only to be hit with a tropical storm on Saturday morning.
You're then faced with a difficult decision, do you have the barbecue anyway? Cooking all the food inside knowing full well that grandma and grandad are going to spill barbecue sauce on the newly laid cream carpet. Or do you cancel the event and end up with a freezer full of meat that you know for a fact that will never get eaten. The good point about the second scenario is that you also end up with a fridge full of beer that you know you’ll drink over the coming few days.
So how do we get round this dilemma?
Well in the next couple of weeks I will be launching a new website to allow budding barbecuers to order the weather online. With a simple click of the mouse you will be able to select a number of weather types from hot and sunny to mild and pleasant. The new site which is designed to be user friendly will be operated by postcode, simply fill in the box and select weather type for your area, date and time. On the downside the initial cost will be quite high but you will be offered discounts if more than one person from your postcode selects the same weather on the same day.
The site will accept all major credit cards and PAYPAL for convenience....
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You DON'T have to cut the grass on Sunday's
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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There is nothing worse on a Sunday morning than hearing the words ‘Can you cut the grass please’. You know for a fact it's not a question and the chance of arguing your way out of it are slim to non. You then spend the next hour pushing the infernal machine up and down the lawn, emptying grass boxes and raking up grass.
Is it only me or has anyone else noticed that:-
A. Grass boxes don’t work and you still end up raking the grass up afterwards
B. Grass boxes are just too small and it needs emptying every two strokes
C. Strimmers cable is designed to break as soon as it touches a blade of grass
Anyway I digress, wouldn’t it be great if grass could be generically modified to grow to different lengths. You could have short Grass for lawns, long grass for wild areas and everything in between all being available over the counter of all good garden centres.
The downside to this argument would be that the whole of the lawnmower industry would be wiped out from day one but I consider it a small price to pay for that extra hour in bed on a Sunday morning....
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Wheelie bin bonaza
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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Manchester City Council have revealed today their new innovation into wheelie bin technology. The new bin which is computer controlled with the help of GPS technology will be able to put itself out on refuse day once the collection wagon is within 1 mile proximity. Once the bin has been emptied it will return to its normal resting place ready to be filled up again.
The pilot scheme of these bins will be running for two weeks to asses the plausibility of mass production. The inventors of the new bin are keen to point out that this is only the first step and emptying on demand will surely follow, optional extras such as fill level warning, excess weight & odour control are in the pipeline for future versions....
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Speed sensitive tyres
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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In a Surprise move the tyre manufacturer Goodyear has launched a Speed sensitive road tyre. In a bid to reduce accidents on the road this revolutionary tyre senses road conditions and alerts the driver by the way of an inbuilt alarm if the driver is going too fast for the road surface.
A spokesman for the company hails this innovation as the most crucial development in road safety for several years and goes on to state this is the first in a long line of new products the company will launch. The spokesman also hinted that they will soon be launching there new ‘Speed limit ™’ tyre which will be able to interpret road side speed signs and reduce the drivers speed accordingly via inbuilt brake rubber.
Top insurers have welcomed the new innovation promising to slash premiums by 20% for anyone using this technology....
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Solar powered mobiles
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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Isn't it annoying when you’re on your mobile and the battery dies and even more so when you have to leave your phone charging for 4 hours. Help is at hand with this new invention from the Mobile phone giants WODAPHONE, the new phone ditches the use of batteries in favor of sunlight.
A wodaphone spokesman released a statement stating that although the technology used is not new and has been utilized in most calculators for many years their mobile is the first to enhance this for this particular use.
Just think no more charging up and constant use will never be a problem ever again. However, the phone does have a couple of minor problems; when driving at night you have to have the interior light on and when in a dark room you have to use the supplied torch to power the phone. But we consider these to be minor problems to what will revolutionize the mobile industry....
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Remote control
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Steves Ideas -
author: Steve
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I don't know about you but I am astounded by the amount of remote controls the average household own. How annoying is it when you want to play a DVD and you spend about twenty minutes looking for the right remote. When you have found the three you need it takes another 20 minutes to make all the relevant setting changes.
Help is at hand, I have been lucky enough to see a secret report from the japanese giant SONY who are launching the first fully voice operated home entertainment system. Remotes will be a thing of the past as the TV, DVD, Video & Cable will all be voice operated from the comfort of your arm chair.
The system which will be launched early in the new year and will be available with regional dialects for ease of use at a cost of around 7 million yen, I know I have started saving already, can you believe that you will be able to survive without it....
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