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Written by Pete G
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 John Leslie has been thrust into the lead role in a new Superman film, which will begin filming later this year.
"Superman: A new superman 1" - as the film is to be titled will be an all British production filmed by entirely on location in Southampton.
'I'm not entirely sure why they picked me', Leslie has revealed, ‘I can't remember applying for the job. But considering I'm a bit down on my luck at the moment, it's probably a good thing.'
'He's tall enough and Scottish', is the British Film Company's marketing line on the new film, 'Hoping to pull in traditional superman fans from across the globe by going back to it's REAL roots.'
Marvel Comics however are not impressed. 'They know we can't take action because they haven't mentioned the word 'kryptonite' in their adaptation, lousy bleeders. With the word 'Superman' being used in everyday language all the time, we could never copyright it. But if it's used in conjunction with 'Kryptonite' we'll have 'em! We'll be watching developments VERY carefully'
British filmmakers have the answer already though, 'In our film Superman uses 'coal' as his 'special stone', that way we avoid any asscoaition with Marvel and their legalities.'
The films music, special effects, camera zooms and make-up will all be created by a small team of Brian Eno's - and with that kind of team on board Maximumlies is giving the production a full seal of approval and our coveted 'Miss it and you'll mess up' award. Well done!
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Written by Administrator
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 In a shock announcement ITV has unveiled plans to put Jeffrey Archer at the helm of it's Saturday night schedules by making him the new host of Blind Date.
Jeffrey, famous for committing crimes whilst in Government, is reported to be excited by the prospect of hosting the show, but fuming that he won't get to be a contestant himself.
'I've always wanted to go on Blind Date, a lifelong ambition in fact. My inspiration for Kane and Abel came from an early episode of Blind Date. A young man from Cambridge named Kane, picked a beauty from Bolton named Abel, it was simply sensational TV. I've always wanted a piece of the action since that day.'
ITV insiders have indicated that in an additional twist to the programme the contestants will, at last live up to the original idea behind the show, and be completely blind.
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Written by Pete G
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 ITV unveiled a closely guarded secret at last nights 'TV Quick' gala awards. The stunned audience watched in amazement as ITV executive Brian Malharem revealed the truth behind it's long standing soap opera 'Coronation Street'.
Malherem started by announcing, 'should I bring out the real Ken Barlow?'. The crowd laughed along initially, but as actor William Roache arrived on stage a visual presentation, the like of which has not been seen before, began on a large screen behind Malharem and Barlow.
A birth certificate flashed upon the screen, followed by gasps from the audience. The certificate read 'Ken Barlow, born Weatherfield, son of council farmer.'
'Yes', Barlow screamed, 'I am not William Roache, I am ken Barlow! I pretend not to be Ken when I'm at awards like this but now the truth must come out.'
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Written by Pete G
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 Richard Curtis's new book 'how many ways can you skin an egg' arrives in shops today. Curtis, in a recent interview proclaimed, 'This is political intrigue to rival Clancy. A hard hitting thriller that breaks with tradition entirely, it will have you quaking in your boots. It an immersive read, a masterpiece of modern literature'
When pressed for a brief outline of the story Curtis shouted, 'This isn't fair, read the book, don't ask me anything else.'
But, after he'd pulled himself together Curtis, reluctantly, outlined the books plot, 'Well it starts with a single man. A single parent, with floppy hair. He has a cute son from a previous marriage. There's this American girl, who he meets. They initially hate each other, but by the end it all works out. Oh, and there's a gay man in it who dies to add a bit of emotional content'.
Oh dear, Richard, that's so sad.
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Written by Chris S
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 After successfully quashing the BBC’s gagging order imposed in the late seventies, the Grace Brothers have launched a surprise take over bid for the beleaguered British Home Stores chain.
After over 30 years of exile on the Isle of Sheppey the Grace brothers, now a joint age of 243 years, have swung into motion their huge legal team and have challenged successfully the legality of the BBC‘s gagging order. "We were used and abused by the BBC who through our expertise plied millions of pounds of license fees directly into their Asda empire whilst producing frankly shoddy programming at our expense”.
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Copyright © 2010 Maximumlies - the Home of the TRUTH! Humour, spoof news and free TRUTH samples for you!.
All Rights Reserved.
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