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Written by Chris S
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 After successfully quashing the BBC’s gagging order imposed in the late seventies, the Grace Brothers have launched a surprise take over bid for the beleaguered British Home Stores chain.
After over 30 years of exile on the Isle of Sheppey the Grace brothers, now a joint age of 243 years, have swung into motion their huge legal team and have challenged successfully the legality of the BBC‘s gagging order. "We were used and abused by the BBC who through our expertise plied millions of pounds of license fees directly into their Asda empire whilst producing frankly shoddy programming at our expense”.
Mr Grace continues, “We became very suspicious when our very own Mr Humphries stormed off the show to take a management position at an Asda flag ship branch in Kent. I discovered the horrendous truth when I interrupted a top level meeting between Greg Dyke and his close ally Teddy Turner (of CBeebies fame). I knew then that the four year long Middle European ratings war had been staged in order for these powerful men to control both low brow humour and convenience shopping worldwide!”
 Thanks to the Freedom of Receipts Act, championed by Minister for Lingerie Albert Tatlock MP, the Grace brothers should be able to turn over their conviction and resume their own plans of global domination with clear consciences. Lawyers for the recently privatised BBC are expected to demand the hand over of all Asda and new retail upstart 'Whalemart' funds as a result of information supplied by the Grace family.
However, big-scandal committee leader Lord Pervis, demanded the money be returned by means of a windfall tax payment to those members of the public who suffered greatly during the period of appalling BBC programming which was as a result of the greed displayed by this despicable cooperation.
Greenpeace are said to be “upset and apologetic that they in turn had not questioned Whalemart’s stand on using marine mammals for its entire product lines including those delicious Garlic dough balls we all adore so much”
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