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 Space listeners 'SETI' have unaveiled an earth shattering revalation, so significant that they have been sitting on it for the past 36 months, scared to tell.
'We need time to verify it's accuracy and it's translation', said Scientist Brian Oodle, 'I'm not going to try and explain what we got, I'll just give you it word for word.'
On 13th September 2004 Bradford listening post intercepted the following transmission, both on 261 medium wave and 103 FM.
'The time for the truth is upon you human, your species over the last 3 billion years of evolution has been monitored by sentient beings. And to put it mildly your progress is disappointing.'
'In the beginning your planet was given every known form of life from sector B.Z 45 and you know what? You humans came out on top. The premiership winners of life, superior in aspects of everything.'
'But sadly, you breed faster than rats, destroy everything in your path then blame it on something or someone else. Your technological advancements are pitiful, just look at the era you call the 1970s.'
'In fact, a species that invents tin cans on wheels that use fossil fuel for movement wins the worst invention award this side of JED 30!'
'Your obsession with mobile things, computers and TVs is a joke. Do you know we spent 7 trillion zoops searching the outer rim for life to breed on earth and what do you humans do? Eat them!'
'And what's this obsession with tarmac?'
'I could go on but I am bored and angry, So earthling what am I going to do? I am just going to blow myself up. Bye.'
'We're still investigating the significance of the message', said Oodle.
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Mark's Daze 
