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Music
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Written by Nick C
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 With Easter around the corner, the race for Easter number one has begun in earnest. Simon Cowell, musical moron, has secured the signing of the deceased Pope John Paul II and aims to release his first single.
PJP (as he will be known from now on) had already recorded the song entitled, ’Easy Money at Easter’ but will not be appearing in the multi million pound video for the record due to him being dead.
‘The Video is set on a beach in the Bahamas with the usual posse of scantily clad females, at the request of the Vatican. They insisted on a crack pipe and crate of Kestrel Super Strength lager whilst recording the track and frankly we were glad they didn’t show up for the video shoot, which could have sent the production bill into the billions.’
Fast living PJP was known for his drooling, floppy bottom lip, hard hitting obscene lyrics and Christian paraphernalia.
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