Famous US President (and ladies man) John F Kennedy has been found wandering the steets of Dallas, Texas. JFK was found clutching a copy of the 1964 'Dallas tribune'and had several 'grassy knoll-marks' on his Italian cut three peice suit.

The FBI is preparing a statement and the only comment so far has been from Whitehouse spokesman Henry Wisebergstein - 'On that terrible day in 1964 everyone assumed he was dead, but no one checked'