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 A recent scientific test on the shroud of Turin has revealed it is a clever fake.
The so-called Shroud was thought to have been the cloth used to rap Jesus up with after the crucifixion. In actual fact the bit of cloth was knocked up by Mark Hughes (Ex-Manchester United and Chelsea footballer) and Roger Bannister (of 4 minute mile fame) in Hughes’ garden shed using only an old oily rag and a tea towel, that once belonged to 5 time Oscar winner, Steve Austin.
The cloth had previously been tested in the early 70’s and the verdict then was that it was a fake. But, this was an oversight on the part of the testers, as they had selected a part of the shroud that had actually been repaired many years earlier after a fire in Hughes’ shed had put a hole in the Shroud, and was repaired using an iron on patch of the ‘Bionic Man’.
‘Yeah man, I can’t believe that people have fallen for this crazy thang. We made this whole scam up. It’s not even real’, said Hughesie.
Although some sectors of conventional science seem to think the Shroud is for real, but now the pesky sporting duo have come forward and admitted responsibility for the whole shenanigans.
‘Our next project is to re-write the Holy Bible in a comedy style, and leave it hidden under ground to be found by future generations, who will think it was written by God himself and then they will be really upset by things.’
The pair of pranksters were also responsible for the birth of Brit Pop and the original version of Tiramisu: the musical.
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