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Science
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Written by Nick C
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 Trillions of Plankton are dying needlessly every day, because of the careless approach fishermen are taking when catching the delicious mammal, the Dolphin.
The Oversensitive Fisherblokes Union, are mightily p**sed off at the new rules regulating the type, size and colour of nets used to catch the European delicacy, and have gone on strike. ‘We’re not being messed about by interfering know-it-all’s from Brussels. What they know about fishing isn’t worth knowing. When we’ve buggered about on our strike for a bit, we’ll be going back to work and carrying on as if nothing has happened.’
Since 1984, a thick plastic sheet material has been used to catch Dolphins in order to reduce the amount of fish that escape the fishing geezers clutches. Due to this, many species of fish are being fished to extinction, including the ever-popular plankton. So many Plankton have been fished that there is now only 160 zillion sqillion left of the microscopic blighters in the world.
An E.U. spokesman, told Maximumlies, ‘Our Android scientists are working on a type of android plankton, which we hope to flood the oceans with in the next few years. These will not be edible and in fact will cause untold damage to any fish that tries to eat our super plankton, but hey, what you gonna do?’
Let’s face it, we don’t really care about any of this, so long as we will still be able to eat that succulent Dolphin meat. Mmmmmm. Tasty.
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