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Sport
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Written by Pete G
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 Boxing's 'Big Hitter' Harry 'who's yo mamma' Carpenter announced today his intention to sue a number of prominent celebrities. His litigation explosion comes about following his decision to retire from a colourful career in boxing talk. He listed possible targets as;
(i) Frank Bruno : for his repeated use of catchphrases such as 'know what I mean Harry'. Carpenter is looking for a reported £1.75 for every mention of 'Harry' in previous Bruno statements.
(ii) Clint Eastwood : for, in Carpenters own words, 'dragging the Harry trademark through the gutter via the 'Dirty' description'. He also added 'If Eastwood thinks his films are an accurate depiction of my life he's way off the mark....I've valued these inconsistencies at £937'.
(iii) Debbie Harry : Blondie's frontwoman is accused of appending Carpenters pride and joy to her real name 'Debbie' and selling herself to record executives as 'the average boxing man's theme tune creator'. Carpenter expressed his concern over Debbie's actions, saying 'She's just simply a woman, she has no right to my name. It's a man's name, a male trademark and in that respect has no place in female power pop'. Carpenter is seeking a cool £1m for this self-proclaimed 'abuse'.
If successful, Carpenter is set to make £1,000,938.75 from the action.
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