All the latest ENTERTAINMENT articles!

BBC Announce Basil Brush to Anchor News
entertainment - author: Pete
basil brush bbc news 24 After much analysis of the content of BBC programming and deliberation of license fee value, the BBC has announced that from August 1st the legendary entertainer Basil Brush will anchor the prestigious 6 o'clock news bulletin.

'We've tried to pin down what the British Public want', BBC News Editor John Tealady-face has told Maximumlies, 'and we've found they want Basil Brush.'

Basil Brush begin a successful television career in the 1960's, appearing on the hugely popular 'Give a nobody a chance show' as a witty magician with a novelty side-kick 'Mr Derek' dressed as Jesus......Full story...
New Harry Potter Film Goes Naked
entertainment - author: Pete
naked harry potterIn a bid to outdo Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe's recent revealing stage appearances, JK Rowling (Potters writer and creator) has announced that the next Potter film will run its entire length 'without any actor wearing any clothes, ever.'

'The lack of clothes fits perfectly into my plot, for what is the final episode in the series. I've also dropped the long winded title of the book and called the film simply 'Naked Harry Potter''

'As you may have heard, in this final instalment one of the main characters dies.......Full story...
Pimp My Wife
entertainment - author: Pete
Peter Stringfellow Music TV boundaries will be firmly pushed next month when music channel MTV launches a potentially controversial new series 'Pimp My Wife'.

The series is the brainchild of nightclub entrepreneur Peter Stringfellow who has part-bankrolled and presented the show.

'Essentially the series will follow a selection of lucky individuals who have been selected by their husbands to have the show's 'Pimp Magic' applied to them', Stringfellow has told Maximumlies.......Full story...
Columbo Dance Mat Death
entertainment - author: Pete
columbo Columbo-Based-Toys(tm) have declined to comment today after news broke of one of its products causing the death of a middle aged man in London, England.

The Columbo Dance Mat(tm) famous for sending fans into a dance frenzy while repeatedly repeating phrases such as 'Just one more thing', 'I got to thinkin' and 'Give me the chilli' has had a trouble free life so far, selling millions of products around the globe.

But yesterday, it was announced 'A 43 year old man has slipped in his own urine and fallen heavily, breaking his neck, whilst using a Columbo Dance Mat(tm). Enquiries are under way but no-one else, apart from Columbo-Based-Toys(tm) are suspected to have involvement in this tragedy.......Full story...
George Formby Bags James Bond Role
entertainment - author: Pete
george formby - bond Legendary actor George Formby has apparently accepted the lead role in an exciting new James Bond Movie. The film 'When I'm shooting Criminals, twice' is not due in Cinema's until at least 2012.

'George is everything we could have hoped for within the James Bond character profile. He has stunning good looks, speaks 'the Queens English' and is from Wigan just like Ian Flemings original character in the books', director Jim Davidson told the press last week.

Amazingly it appears George has landed this key role 44 years after his alleged death, and understandably this has got Bond fans worried about the direction of the franchise.......Full story...
Thousands Die Waiting for XBOX 360
entertainment - author: Pete
xbox 360 In scenes not witnessed since the last Great War, bodies litter the high streets across the UK and a beleaguered Primeminister has made an emotional attempt to resolve a desperate situation by announcing 'curfew measures and makeshift morgues.'

Trouble began when the mothership of all corporations, Microsoft, 'promised' to deliver its new games console to the desperate public of the world 'at the start of December sometime'

'We had four 360's and a queue of about 3000 people', a spokesman for HMV stores told us, 'We gave one of the four we had to the manager of the shop and the other three to any staff who wanted them and hoped the people waiting outside would simply go away.'

The people stayed and some paid the ultimate price.......Full story...
Pitts's Square Ambition
entertainment - author: Pete
East Enders Brad Brad Pitt's management company has recently let slip the Hollywood A listers future acting plans. He is going to join the cast of British soap opera 'Eastenders' as 'an initially small part-based cockney barrow boy, selling apples and jeans.'

He will be heavily disguised in his new role, possibly wearing a large Stetson hat, bright arm bands and sporting a moustache. His cut glass British accent, used in such great films as 'Troy', will make an appearance again, slightly modified with his own brand of 'Walford Twang.'

'I consider it an honour........Full story...

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